Gaius van Baelsar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
howveryglib) wrote2022-06-22 10:56 pm
howveryglib) wrote2022-06-22 10:56 pm
INVENTORY
44. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
55. Pep Bar - Sort of a combination energy and candy bar? Guaranteed to put a pep in your step!
32. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura…
14. Coconut - It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you, but it refuses to complain…
46. An Egg - Can the vending machine offer you one of these in this trying time? Hard-boiled, at least.
08. Malört - A bottle of a foul-tasting liquor produced and distributed exclusively in Chicago, Illinois. It’s literally named after wormwood, if you don’t like strong and bitter alcohol you’ll probably have a bad time.
19. Velvet Cape - A full velvet cape, perfect for swishing around and pretending you’re either an old-timey aristocrat or a vampire. Also useful if you wanna get a LARP started in here.
53. Gamer Fuel - It’s.... a salt shaker? Full of salt?
53. Gamer Fuel - It’s.... a salt shaker? Full of salt?
05. Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
56. Stuffed Big Daddy - A stuffed toy shaped like… a huge man with a drill for a hand? Don’t worry, he’s soft!
49. At-Home Planetarium - A glass ball that lights up and projects stars! Doesn’t work if the room is too big or if the lights are on, though.
08. Malört - A bottle of a foul-tasting liquor produced and distributed exclusively in Chicago, Illinois. It’s literally named after wormwood, if you don’t like strong and bitter alcohol you’ll probably have a bad time.
09. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. Surprisingly fun to mix and match with each other!
20. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
56. Stuffed Big Daddy - A stuffed toy shaped like… a huge man with a drill for a hand? Don’t worry, he’s soft!
Can of Engex: Not fit for human consumption. Has a post-it note attached reading ‘Krok’.
2. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
06. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
24. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
16. Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise.
42. “Almond Flavoring” - A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide.
Jean Shorts: A pair of frayed denim shorts with pockets peeking out the bottom.
38. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
27. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
21. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for pretending you’re a lab assistant to some kind of professor!
58. Hawaiian Shirt - Dealer’s choice of any of these button-ups! Pretend like you’re on a cruise-themed murdergame instead of this one.
11. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
28. Freeze-Dried Ice Cream - Pretend you’re an astronaut! Only available in vanilla, but there's an ad on the back for other flavors.
25. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
47. Snow Globe - A souvenir from… it looks like Castrum Meridianum? Perfect to put on a shelf and look at once in a while.
66. Teacher of the Year Plaque - It's a wooden plaque with a red apple on it, proclaiming someone named William Schuester the Teacher of the Year in 2012...except there's sloppy quotes carved around the word Teacher. How rude! Discarded with Mafuyu.
43. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace.
Marionette: A beautiful doll with long blonde hair and an elegant dress. Its strings have been cut... Returned to Mafuyu.
09. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. Surprisingly fun to mix and match with each other!
64. Orbs - Some simple, rainbow colored orbs. Something good might happen if you save them up.
Courtly Clothes: A fine, dark formal outfit fit for an attendant to royalty. Given to Obi.
63. Snapped Writing Quill - A writing quill that has snapped from overuse. It probably belongs to someone who does lots of paperwork. Discarded with Mafuyu.
67. Lemon - This is a lemon. Given to Mafuyu for extremely heterosexual reasons.
02. Hot Sauce - A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk!
54. _____ in Wonderland - A copy of Alice in Wonderland, except Alice’s name has been replaced with yours. That’s the power of public domain, baby.
41. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness.
43. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace.
65. Hollyhock - a pink hollyhock flower. Given to Undertaker.
59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!
67. Lemon - This is a lemon.
44. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
39. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck!
52. Funko Pop - A Funko Pop of one of your loved ones, namely Livia! Collect them all!
11. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
40. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 1965, featuring lurid pictures of… large men in full diving suits?
02. Hot Sauce - A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk!
Cracked Spectacles: Whoever wore these must be really, really, REALLY nearsighted. Surreptitiously taken by Undertaker.
55. Pep Bar - Sort of a combination energy and candy bar? Guaranteed to put a pep in your step!
Garlic Flowers: Oh god that’s so many garlic flowers. I hope you’re not a vampire
Power Coins - Wait, you put in a coin and got five more, slightly different coins? What a ripoff!
26. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
28. Freeze-Dried Ice Cream - Pretend you’re an astronaut! Only available in vanilla, but there's an ad on the back for other flavors.
27. Gingerbread House - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
38. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
Emperor Portrait: A commissioned portrait of the Garlean Empire's founding father, Solus zos Galvus, entitled Beyond the Horizon. Original artist unknown. Received from Obi.
34. Charlie Pants - A doll of a just wildly creepy-looking clown.
32. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!
70. “Deluxe Letter Opener” - A one-and-a-half handed sword of decent make! For when you want to go Medieval on someone.
55. Pep Bar - Sort of a combination energy and candy bar? Guaranteed to put a pep in your step!
52. Funko Pop - A Funko Pop of one of your loved ones, namely Allie! Collect them all!
25. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
Gold Dog Tag - A relatively tiny tag with identification information on it in the form of a long, intricate number. This belongs to some Renan soldier assigned to the lord of Ganath Haros. (Courtesy of Obi)
20. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
49. At-Home Planetarium - A glass ball that lights up and projects stars! Doesn’t work if the room is too big or if the lights are on, though.
Black Katana - It is a rather long blade that is pitch black with a relatively decorated golden and obsidian-colored hilt. It looks fit for anyone who'd dare call themselves a 'Lord', for example, on a certain planet called Dahna.
69. A Cool Refreshing Beverage - Nice!
12. Live Bait - A styrofoam cup just… full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank!
12. Live Bait - A styrofoam cup just… full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank!
63. Hollyhock - a pink hollyhock flower
21. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for pretending you’re a lab assistant to some kind of professor!
32. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
18. Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork.
43. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace.
39. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck!
64. C Lunch: A bland cafeteria lunch set: a cup of soup, some kind of yellow sliced vegetable, chicken nuggets, and dessert. Complete with plastic tray.
55. Pep Bar - Sort of a combination energy and candy bar? Guaranteed to put a pep in your step!
46. An Egg - Can the vending machine offer you one of these in this trying time? Hard-boiled, at least.
49. At-Home Planetarium - A glass ball that lights up and projects stars! Doesn’t work if the room is too big or if the lights are on, though.
04. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?
08. Malört - A bottle of a foul-tasting liquor produced and distributed exclusively in Chicago, Illinois. It’s literally named after wormwood, if you don’t like strong and bitter alcohol you’ll probably have a bad time.
40. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 1965, featuring lurid pictures of… large men in full diving suits?
50. Corkboard - A small bulletin board with some pins stuck into it! Perfect for making intricate displays about how everything’s connected, or about non-existent workers in the building you work at.
54. _____ in Wonderland - A copy of Alice in Wonderland, except Alice’s name has been replaced with yours. That’s the power of public domain, baby.
73. Special Apple - An apple which has been crossbred with horseradish.
31. Hand Bra - Who the heck left this in here? It almost seems like it belongs in a whole other world.
17. Rations - A set of military rations. At least they’ll never go bad?
24. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
Coffin: Huge, antique, and inexplicably lined with fur. Returned to Nandor.
10. Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
51. Foam Dart Pistol - A small pistol that uses pressurized air to shoot foam darts! No notable brand, but it works well enough.
62. Inflatable Crocodile - An inflatable crocodile that one can lounge on! Love the crocodile. Be the crocodile.
74. Those Who Sunbathe In The Dark - A beach towel with an interesting design.
34. Charlie Pants - A doll of a just wildly creepy-looking clown.
41. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness.
Sacred Tree Sprig: The branch from a sakaki tree, commonly used in Shinto rituals. It serves as a connection between humans and the gods.
31. Hand Bra - Who the heck left this in here? It almost seems like it belongs in a whole other world.
76. Stylish(?) Eyewear - A pair of very small red glasses that perch on the nose. Make you look like some kind of evil JRPG scientist or something.
68. Otamatone - The future of music is now!!! Beep.
Jonathan body pillow: finally you can cuddle with everyone’s favorite solicitor whenever you want! One side even has him in scandalous victorian underwear! Given to Nandor to dispose of.
69. A Cool Refreshing Beverage - Nice!
The Mute’s Sash: White is worn to mourn a child, while black is worn to mourn an adult. So who would the wearer of this dark gray sash mourn…?
74. Those Who Sunbathe In The Dark - A beach towel with an interesting design.
46. An Egg - Can the vending machine offer you one of these in this trying time? Hard-boiled, at least.
44. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
13. A Gallon of Seawater - Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this? Left on the floor.
41. “Letter Opener” - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness.
77. The Clash at Demonhead - A copy of the self-titled EP from one of the most promising bands in rock.
30. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Margarine! - A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it.
Dim Light Gothic: A black dress with a bit of a rose theme, complete with hair ribbon. Intensely goth.
40. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 1965, featuring lurid pictures of… large men in full diving suits?
YARD SARD THURSDAY WEEK 4
19. Velvet Cape - A full velvet cape, perfect for swishing around and pretending you’re either an old-timey aristocrat or a vampire. Also useful if you wanna get a LARP started in here.
56. Stuffed Big Daddy - A stuffed toy shaped like… a huge man with a drill for a hand? Don’t worry, he’s soft!
49. At-Home Planetarium - A glass ball that lights up and projects stars! Doesn’t work if the room is too big or if the lights are on, though.
09. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. Surprisingly fun to mix and match with each other!
20. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
56. Stuffed Big Daddy - A stuffed toy shaped like… a huge man with a drill for a hand? Don’t worry, he’s soft!
Can of Engex: Not fit for human consumption. Has a post-it note attached reading ‘Krok’.
2. Weirdly Specific T-Shirt - Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL.
Jean Shorts: A pair of frayed denim shorts with pockets peeking out the bottom.
21. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for pretending you’re a lab assistant to some kind of professor!
11. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
09. Marionette - An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. Surprisingly fun to mix and match with each other!
11. Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
40. Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 1965, featuring lurid pictures of… large men in full diving suits?
Garlic Flowers: Oh god that’s so many garlic flowers. I hope you’re not a vampire
Power Coins - Wait, you put in a coin and got five more, slightly different coins? What a ripoff!
26. Distinguished Dress - A beautiful, beautiful… article of clothing.
38. Origami Instructions - A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper.
34. Charlie Pants - A doll of a just wildly creepy-looking clown.
32. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
59. VILE-Brand Pen - A souvenir waterproof pen with the acronym VILE on it. Great for signing checks!
25. Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
Gold Dog Tag - A relatively tiny tag with identification information on it in the form of a long, intricate number. This belongs to some Renan soldier assigned to the lord of Ganath Haros. (Courtesy of Obi)
20. Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
49. At-Home Planetarium - A glass ball that lights up and projects stars! Doesn’t work if the room is too big or if the lights are on, though.
12. Live Bait - A styrofoam cup just… full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank!
12. Live Bait - A styrofoam cup just… full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank!
63. Hollyhock - a pink hollyhock flower
21. Labcoat - A standard white labcoat, perfect for pretending you’re a lab assistant to some kind of professor!
32. Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
18. Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork.